Things are happening so quickly since I’ve made the decision to go to law school. After telling Tumblr, I told my family, one by one, of my decision and the response was an overwhelming “Finally!!”

I had no idea how transparent my battle was. I guess everyone was secretly hoping I’d come to my senses. Since then, I’ve had weighty conversations with Boyfriend, a broad sweep of schools I plan to apply to, and a phone call to a former UCF student, present USC law school student that was even more galvanizing.

I’m still sort of downplaying the whole thing until things become clearer, but there is no doubt in my mind that I’ve made the right decision. I haven’t felt this brand of decided determination since I decided to come to UCF. This feels so good.

I guess my absence on Tumblr has been an outward manifestation of my absence in life. Since the beginning of the semester, I’ve been floating around, trying to understand what direction I’m floating in. Boyfriend has been talking future plans a lot lately, plans that always lead back to marriage, and while he’s been doing that, I’ve been racking my brain trying to figure out where I’m going.

And then today happens. I scheduled a meeting to talk with Nicole, the director of prestigious awards and opportunities at UCF and also my greatest ally since freshman year. Whenever I’ve been unsure about my  future, she’s always been able to knock me upside the head and show me the forest—after stepping away from the trees.

I’d been so obsessed about cost and interest and my duty and loyalty to writing that I’d been misunderstanding everything. 

I think what I’m trying to say is that I’m going to law school. 

I’m going. And I think everything that I’ve done up to now had led me to this very moment of realizing that I have to do this.